Friday, July 14, 2006
One Pill Makes You Larger...
I am up early today reflecting on what lies ahead of me over the next couple of months. I read yesterdays CCP postings regarding the planning of our Burning Man camp. I write my first entry into my journal of disorderly sleeping conduct and consider the irony that it is not even 6 AM.
I take the blue pill.
It is ridiculous that it has been so long since I have written anything here. So much has happened in my life over the past 3 months, it is sad that I couldn't have documented the day by day happenings. There just wasn't enough time, and I tend to be so damned verbose that the thought of writing a journal entry when I have 18 things I need to do that hour seems preposterous. So now I have to try and reflect.
I am a married man now. Yesteday was 2 months on the nose. I made dinner for C and it was delicious, but not in the same way she is. I digress. It seems so normal to say "married" now, so it obviously has been a while in terms of the things we have done since then. The wedding was by far the most incredible project of my life, and I was able to complete it with the most important woman in the world. We made it happen, and we did it exactly how we wanted it. It was beautiful, fun, and reflective. It was the golden stake in the ground that signified our future together. She was the most beautiful I have ever seen her and I for once was standing in front of a large group of people without any nervousness or reservations. I can't compare it to anything else I have ever experienced. And we did it together with a little to a lot of help from so many people. It was perfect. Of course in our true style of things, we still haven't gotten the professional pictures together, but we do have loads from our friends who posted them in a gallery I set up for it. We have the most incredible friends, and both our families recognized this. It still makes me tingle.
The honeymoon was also fantastic however I still haven't gotten the pictures from Saint Martin posted up there with all my captioning. It seems like things like this just fall by the roadside and C and I whiz along. The honeymoon was no exception. We had the best time together and equally balanced doing nothing and engaging in all sorts of activities. In spite of being jacked by American Airlines at practically every leg of our journey there and back, it will probably stand as the best vacation we have ever had for a long time. In that environment, how can we not do well?
Our dear friends Lulu and Bones got married about 6 weeks after we did, so seeing them go through the process in stagger was interesting, and I felt we could provide them some comfort, but really they didn't seem to need it. They got married, quite coincidently, in my home town of Kent, CT. The location was like a summer camp for adults and was fantastic. They really brought out the camp theme well. It was so different from our wedding, but as expected, everyone there had an equally awesome time. The running snicker over the weekend was that the camp had been a singles and swingers weekend retreat during the 70's and 80's until they renovated and upscaled their image. You could feel the soil steeped in a rich tradition of hedonism, and these people were helping in their own special way.
My friend Dan-O who fought testicular last year and who we all thought had defeated it soundly recently learned that he has the early stages of cancer elsewhere in his body and as of this week is starting chemo. It is so fucking sad because he is such an incredible person who really takes care of himself and others. I realize that for situations like this it is all about presdisposition (lots of family history for him) but I always had pictured him to be the healthiest and fittest of our group. While the cruelty of seeing someone so strong be at the mercy of mutant cells gone amok, he has never once complained or given a inkling of self-pity about his situation. He just sort of sighs and bravely faces the reality of it all. His hope is genuine and empowers him. I don't know a lot of the medical details and even if I did I wouldn't post them here, but I understand his chances for full recovery are still very good. Until then, its hairloss and nausea. He is otherwise healthy and happy which means he is strong enough to fight this, so if anyone is going to survive this with a smiling face as he resumes life's normalcy, it is him. To think about how he can be so calm and focused on the task at hand without getting swirled up and consumed by worry for the future is an inspiration, especially for a fretter like me. I haven't seen or talked to him since Monday when he started chemo, but I hope he will be up for C and I stopping by on Saturday. I feel awkward because I want to ask him lots of questions so I know what his situation is, but really I am sure he would probably want to talk about something else. Whatever we talk about, it will be good to see him. One thing is for sure is he is surrounded by a host of people who care deeply about him.
It's now about the time to conclude my insomniac clatterings and move to the day at hand. It is funny that writing in this format is liberating since it is not like I am keeping a private diary, so I feel bold talking about feelings and experiences I would not necessarily advertise otherwise, however there is just so much about my life that I would never write here. I guess I should be keeping a separate private journal so when I am old and gimpy I can read all the juicy stories from my past and remember that I did live a full life at one point. Until then...
I take the blue pill.
It is ridiculous that it has been so long since I have written anything here. So much has happened in my life over the past 3 months, it is sad that I couldn't have documented the day by day happenings. There just wasn't enough time, and I tend to be so damned verbose that the thought of writing a journal entry when I have 18 things I need to do that hour seems preposterous. So now I have to try and reflect.
I am a married man now. Yesteday was 2 months on the nose. I made dinner for C and it was delicious, but not in the same way she is. I digress. It seems so normal to say "married" now, so it obviously has been a while in terms of the things we have done since then. The wedding was by far the most incredible project of my life, and I was able to complete it with the most important woman in the world. We made it happen, and we did it exactly how we wanted it. It was beautiful, fun, and reflective. It was the golden stake in the ground that signified our future together. She was the most beautiful I have ever seen her and I for once was standing in front of a large group of people without any nervousness or reservations. I can't compare it to anything else I have ever experienced. And we did it together with a little to a lot of help from so many people. It was perfect. Of course in our true style of things, we still haven't gotten the professional pictures together, but we do have loads from our friends who posted them in a gallery I set up for it. We have the most incredible friends, and both our families recognized this. It still makes me tingle.
The honeymoon was also fantastic however I still haven't gotten the pictures from Saint Martin posted up there with all my captioning. It seems like things like this just fall by the roadside and C and I whiz along. The honeymoon was no exception. We had the best time together and equally balanced doing nothing and engaging in all sorts of activities. In spite of being jacked by American Airlines at practically every leg of our journey there and back, it will probably stand as the best vacation we have ever had for a long time. In that environment, how can we not do well?
Our dear friends Lulu and Bones got married about 6 weeks after we did, so seeing them go through the process in stagger was interesting, and I felt we could provide them some comfort, but really they didn't seem to need it. They got married, quite coincidently, in my home town of Kent, CT. The location was like a summer camp for adults and was fantastic. They really brought out the camp theme well. It was so different from our wedding, but as expected, everyone there had an equally awesome time. The running snicker over the weekend was that the camp had been a singles and swingers weekend retreat during the 70's and 80's until they renovated and upscaled their image. You could feel the soil steeped in a rich tradition of hedonism, and these people were helping in their own special way.
My friend Dan-O who fought testicular last year and who we all thought had defeated it soundly recently learned that he has the early stages of cancer elsewhere in his body and as of this week is starting chemo. It is so fucking sad because he is such an incredible person who really takes care of himself and others. I realize that for situations like this it is all about presdisposition (lots of family history for him) but I always had pictured him to be the healthiest and fittest of our group. While the cruelty of seeing someone so strong be at the mercy of mutant cells gone amok, he has never once complained or given a inkling of self-pity about his situation. He just sort of sighs and bravely faces the reality of it all. His hope is genuine and empowers him. I don't know a lot of the medical details and even if I did I wouldn't post them here, but I understand his chances for full recovery are still very good. Until then, its hairloss and nausea. He is otherwise healthy and happy which means he is strong enough to fight this, so if anyone is going to survive this with a smiling face as he resumes life's normalcy, it is him. To think about how he can be so calm and focused on the task at hand without getting swirled up and consumed by worry for the future is an inspiration, especially for a fretter like me. I haven't seen or talked to him since Monday when he started chemo, but I hope he will be up for C and I stopping by on Saturday. I feel awkward because I want to ask him lots of questions so I know what his situation is, but really I am sure he would probably want to talk about something else. Whatever we talk about, it will be good to see him. One thing is for sure is he is surrounded by a host of people who care deeply about him.
It's now about the time to conclude my insomniac clatterings and move to the day at hand. It is funny that writing in this format is liberating since it is not like I am keeping a private diary, so I feel bold talking about feelings and experiences I would not necessarily advertise otherwise, however there is just so much about my life that I would never write here. I guess I should be keeping a separate private journal so when I am old and gimpy I can read all the juicy stories from my past and remember that I did live a full life at one point. Until then...
