Friday, April 28, 2006
What the world needs now is bacon, sweet bacon
Whew, this week has sapped my very essence. After going large in Seattle the week previous I was thinking I would be able to rest up. No such luck. I'll back it up a few paces and go back a week. I am so behind in the story telling.
Last Friday after flying in Clitty picked me up at the airport and we enjoyed some protein style at the ole In-and-Out in Daly City. For the unitiated, I&O is the creme de la creme of fast food burgers. Even with their fancy $20 counterfeit bill scanners, it is a total 50 retro experience right down to the pimply faced teenagers manning the cash registers and the cherubic broom girls with the enormous booties. There are no fake 50's decor, or Buddy Holly on the PA, but it just has that feel. Below the red enamel veneer lies a burger culture steeped in Mormon beliefs, down the the citing of chapters from the Book of Mormon on the bottom of their cups. (That last pic was a testment to the worthlessness of Wikipedia as it says it is from the Bible. Ha! Stupid internet!) At 8 PM it was of course a zoo of teenagers, but I managed to vulture a table fairly quckly as I have become a master at doing, and this time C was complaining about it for some reason, not at all comfortable with it. We always accepted the process as a fact of eating there and enjoying the burgery delights, but maybe with all the people standing she felt self conscious to be staking out a claim for some reason. But I didn't want to eat my burger wrapped in lettuce over a trash can and either did she, so I got a 4 table after waiting for a group to finish. You put in the time you get the rewards, but some huge Mormon family was trying to huddle around a 4 and 2 and I felt bad for them. I tapped one of the teenaged kids on the shoulder to offer my 4 for their 2 and he got kinda startled, like I was asking him for something, like his soul. The thing about black Mormons is you would never guess that was their identity in spite of their quirky, wholesome nature. I guess the stereotype is that Mormons are all white and doughy and wear those brown blazers with their nametags saying their are a sevetnh level magic user or something. Okay, one woman was white, probably the mom, but still, I hadn't make any kind of judgement about them, nor did I care to. I guess C later overheard them talking about the church later and that clued her in, but while at the resteraunt, I just thought that while friendly and goofy, they were an odd group for some reason. I guess it wasn't all that relevant after all to why I wanted to help them out, but my instinct was to do something so they could eat comforatably and not standing around in a huddle. Anyway, this kid was kind of startled that I approached him. He was all in a jersey getup from some NBA team and didn't understand that I was offering my recently salvaged 4 table for his 2 table so his family could all sit. The older ones who were probably in there late teens or 20's picked up on it and were super thankful and kind of razzed the younger kid for being spooked by me, and after we were sitting there we started talking about this and that and we somehow we told them we were getting married in three weeks. Wow, three weeks. They were of course happy and excited for us, and the whole experience made me understand the whole "kindness is its own reward" thing. Of course the biggest guy didn't have a chair and was kind of glum about it and he was litterally on his knees at the table yet he was sitting higher than me. After we got our food, and lost interest in the folks next to us as we focused on the greasy goodness, C says "do you know what these burgers really could use? Bacon. In-and-Out should have bacon for their burgers." I was being all "it's just fine like it is, wouldn't change a thing, yada yada..." maybe there is something about bacon being an 'unclean meat' or some such nonesense and not really paying attention to her opening her purse and pulling out a small ziplock bag with a wad of foil in it. I kinda looked at it as I had already started talking about baseball probably and then she gave me this look. I will forever call it the "bacon look" as it was at that moment I know what was in the foil. "OH MY GOD - NO WAY!!!" and she started snickering really hard. The Mormons probably thought we were nuts. There was just enough to go on our 4 double-doubles. She was so right. They were so much better with bacon.
An for the record, the Atkins diet may be a private, breadless hell at times, where else can I eat bacon cheeseburgers and lose 10 pounds in four weeks? Get your fiber and all is peachy. Woot!
Wow, three weeks. Okay, I guess it is time to start getting worried. "Hey, have a great night y'all, and CONGRATULATIONS" boomed a voice who was probably the patriarch of that family. I guess genuine cheerfulness can spot other genuine cheerfulness even with a mask on.
Walking out the doors, the night aifr felt good against my face. I felt full, but not too full, and C took my arm as we walked to the car, and I tell you... those two things together can just about complete me.
Last Friday after flying in Clitty picked me up at the airport and we enjoyed some protein style at the ole In-and-Out in Daly City. For the unitiated, I&O is the creme de la creme of fast food burgers. Even with their fancy $20 counterfeit bill scanners, it is a total 50 retro experience right down to the pimply faced teenagers manning the cash registers and the cherubic broom girls with the enormous booties. There are no fake 50's decor, or Buddy Holly on the PA, but it just has that feel. Below the red enamel veneer lies a burger culture steeped in Mormon beliefs, down the the citing of chapters from the Book of Mormon on the bottom of their cups. (That last pic was a testment to the worthlessness of Wikipedia as it says it is from the Bible. Ha! Stupid internet!) At 8 PM it was of course a zoo of teenagers, but I managed to vulture a table fairly quckly as I have become a master at doing, and this time C was complaining about it for some reason, not at all comfortable with it. We always accepted the process as a fact of eating there and enjoying the burgery delights, but maybe with all the people standing she felt self conscious to be staking out a claim for some reason. But I didn't want to eat my burger wrapped in lettuce over a trash can and either did she, so I got a 4 table after waiting for a group to finish. You put in the time you get the rewards, but some huge Mormon family was trying to huddle around a 4 and 2 and I felt bad for them. I tapped one of the teenaged kids on the shoulder to offer my 4 for their 2 and he got kinda startled, like I was asking him for something, like his soul. The thing about black Mormons is you would never guess that was their identity in spite of their quirky, wholesome nature. I guess the stereotype is that Mormons are all white and doughy and wear those brown blazers with their nametags saying their are a sevetnh level magic user or something. Okay, one woman was white, probably the mom, but still, I hadn't make any kind of judgement about them, nor did I care to. I guess C later overheard them talking about the church later and that clued her in, but while at the resteraunt, I just thought that while friendly and goofy, they were an odd group for some reason. I guess it wasn't all that relevant after all to why I wanted to help them out, but my instinct was to do something so they could eat comforatably and not standing around in a huddle. Anyway, this kid was kind of startled that I approached him. He was all in a jersey getup from some NBA team and didn't understand that I was offering my recently salvaged 4 table for his 2 table so his family could all sit. The older ones who were probably in there late teens or 20's picked up on it and were super thankful and kind of razzed the younger kid for being spooked by me, and after we were sitting there we started talking about this and that and we somehow we told them we were getting married in three weeks. Wow, three weeks. They were of course happy and excited for us, and the whole experience made me understand the whole "kindness is its own reward" thing. Of course the biggest guy didn't have a chair and was kind of glum about it and he was litterally on his knees at the table yet he was sitting higher than me. After we got our food, and lost interest in the folks next to us as we focused on the greasy goodness, C says "do you know what these burgers really could use? Bacon. In-and-Out should have bacon for their burgers." I was being all "it's just fine like it is, wouldn't change a thing, yada yada..." maybe there is something about bacon being an 'unclean meat' or some such nonesense and not really paying attention to her opening her purse and pulling out a small ziplock bag with a wad of foil in it. I kinda looked at it as I had already started talking about baseball probably and then she gave me this look. I will forever call it the "bacon look" as it was at that moment I know what was in the foil. "OH MY GOD - NO WAY!!!" and she started snickering really hard. The Mormons probably thought we were nuts. There was just enough to go on our 4 double-doubles. She was so right. They were so much better with bacon.
An for the record, the Atkins diet may be a private, breadless hell at times, where else can I eat bacon cheeseburgers and lose 10 pounds in four weeks? Get your fiber and all is peachy. Woot!
Wow, three weeks. Okay, I guess it is time to start getting worried. "Hey, have a great night y'all, and CONGRATULATIONS" boomed a voice who was probably the patriarch of that family. I guess genuine cheerfulness can spot other genuine cheerfulness even with a mask on.
Walking out the doors, the night aifr felt good against my face. I felt full, but not too full, and C took my arm as we walked to the car, and I tell you... those two things together can just about complete me.
